On Having Birthdays, Part Two
I hadn’t planned to revisit the subject of birthdays quite so soon, but kind of have to. My dad turned 93 on Friday. It’s not been an easy aging for him or us, and it isn’t for most folks. He has, however, attained that quite advanced age with a certain amount of flair and style.
My sister and I like to think he remains very handsome, and apparently others think so too, or at least say so. He looks like his father’s side of the family, a very good-looking and, for the most part, long-lived bunch. My sister takes after him and them.
At any rate, several of us gathered to celebrate his special day with him. There was singing, a favorite meal, and cake. But most of all there was talk. And at least a dozen and a half times during the course of the conversation, Dad said, “I sure wish we lived closer together. I’d like to have my family around me.”
My sister lives less than two minutes from Dad and sees him nearly every day. She has him in her home regularly for chats and meals and family time. She takes him to all his appointments and visits with him in the facility where he lives. I live a few hours away but see him every couple of months myself. He does, in fact, have family close by and readily available to him.
At about the 15th or so repeat of this desire, as I was inwardly rolling my eyes, it finally dawned on my obtuse mind that what he was really saying was, “I wish things were like they used to be. I wish we all still lived together like we did. I wish your mother was still with us. I wish I was young again, beginning and not just about to finish the course. I wish I could turn back the clock, reverse the sands of time.” That’s what he was really saying.
It stopped me in my tracks. Isn’t that what we’d all prefer, at least those of us in or approaching the winter of our lives? We’d like to live again in earlier, better, healthier, happier, more promising times. Times in which our lives spread out before us in a seemingly endless stretch of prospect and possibility.
Well, if we’re fortunate, we’ll keep having birthdays like my dad is doing. We, too, will, it is hoped, reach an advanced old age with some semblance of grace. And if we think he/we are advancing alone, we’re mistaken. Our cry may echo David’s in Psalm 71:9: “Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone” (NIV). And the answer comes: “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4, NIV).
Happy Birthday, Dad.
7 Comments
Beth
Nailed it so beautifully Carolyn! Your dad must have retained the best memories of his life. Such a blessing! ❤️
ckarlstrom
I hope his memories are good ones. It seems they are judging from his apparent desire to . . . go back. I feel so bad for him and others in his circumstances. Old age isn’t easy, is it? On anyone. The aged or those who love him/her.
Susie
I too wish we could go back. I’d love to see he and mother together again in their prime. We can’t go back though, we have to keep moving ahead. Fortunately, the best is yet to come as we move ahead. These are really the in between years of past vibrant years looking forward to an eternity of vibrant years. I am looking forward to seeing mom and dad together again, loved ones now resting until Christ calls them forth resurrection morning….
When dad says he wishes we lived closer I remind him I’m 2 minutes away. When I feel alone our Heavenly Father reminds me He’s right here with me. One day soon this will all be behind us and we will all be together again with clear minds and sound bodies!
Carolyn Karlstrom
I know it’s been hard on you. Yes, I surely do look forward to the day the four of us, and all the other ones we’ve grown to love along the way, are together again. Can’t come too soon!! Love you! 💕
Trudie
Thank you, I hope we’re near neighbors in heaven also! Now I’m thinking of that song When we all get to Heaven! ‘When we all see Jesus we’ll sing and dance the victory”💞(I think that’s the words lol)
Trudie
I agree with Beth, perfectly said! (You and her are graceful at putting the pen to the paper! That’s not one of my talents)…I like how you stopped and entered his world. I think that’s so important with the elderly. ♥️ Beautiful!
Carolyn Karlstrom
Thank you, Trudie! I really do appreciate your kindness and encouragement. I do hope we’re near neighbors in heaven!!