I Can See Clearly Now
Well, if I needed to be humbled, I guess I can say I have been.
I was all of 21, not even 1/3 of the age I am now. It was 1973 and I was in my first nursing job after getting my degree. I worked on a Med/Surg unit and one of my patients on that memorable day was an older woman. I don’t remember her name, her age (she may well have been younger than I am now), her diagnosis, or what she looked like. I remember only the humorous event that took place.
When I entered her room and asked her how she was doing and if there was anything she needed, she told me she thought she needed to get her eyes checked, that she was having some difficulty with her eyesight. “I think I need new glasses,” she said. “I can’t see out of these,” and she indicated them lying on her bedside table.
“Oh, no,” I replied, and idly picked them up. Then I looked at them.
“Well!” I said in some surprise at their condition, and with great amusement, which I took pains to keep to myself, as I could see they were dirty in the extreme – no one could have seen through them. “Maybe I’ll just wash them up for you and we’ll see how they are then.” And that’s what I did.
“Here, have a look.” I returned them to her.
I can see!” she exclaimed with considerable enthusiasm. “What did you do to them, again?”
“Just rinsed them up,” I told her. “I’m so glad they’re OK.”
I was enormously entertained by this and related the incident with much laughter to my husband later that evening. We wondered aloud how anyone could allow their glasses to get so dirty and not be aware of it.
Fast forward to last week. Granting that my own vision isn’t what it once was, I can generally see pretty well. And I check my glasses regularly for smudges and streaks. On this day, though, I could hardly see out of them at all. “I need to have my eyes checked,” I thought to myself and took them off, fully expecting to find relatively clean lenses, maybe just a spot or two. It had to be my eyes, but how could they have gotten that bad?
Well, as it turns out, they haven’t. No, instead I found myself looking at a pitifully dirty pair of lenses, explaining everything.
That’s when I thought of my little old lady patient of some 47 years ago. “Well, there you go,” I thought. “You are now the little old lady unable to take care of her own spectacles.” I’d come full circle.
And it set me to thinking. I did not laugh in front of the woman of yesteryear over her unfortunate difficulty with her glasses, a problem easily fixed but beyond her at that moment. I did, however, laugh later, and I shared it, more than once, in the ensuing years. Though this may not have been wrong, exactly, it probably was not kind. And the older I get the more I realize that we’re all in the same boat and subject to the same challenges, though they may take slightly different forms. Or not, as my recent experience suggests. And what goes around comes around, as they say.
At any rate, kindness should always prevail, a lesson I’m still learning, it would appear. I hope one day to be able to say, “I can see clearly now.”
16 Comments
Melissa Forster
Ha ha ha can relate to that.My patients always said to me don’t get old.my answer to them will be don’t worry am already there.lol
Carolyn Karlstrom
But the alternative is awful – NOT getting old!! Yes, I know you understand. Thanks so much for reading this and commenting.
Trudie
Oh this is so true! I now think back and wish I would have understood more or been more thoughtful to the elderly. Or maybe I should say have been more understanding. but until you get there, you don’t really get it! But kindness outweighs all! Kind of like, love covers a multitude of sins ❤️
Carolyn Karlstrom
Yes, you’re absolutely right about not fully understanding until you get there. I suppose it’s not reasonable to expect from the young that they’ll understand what they haven’t yet experienced but! kindness should reign, always. And in many young I see it, happily. And in many of every age, actually. I aspire to be among them . . .
Marlys Schraven
Love the story Carolyn. But I have found that not only us oldies have trouble with sight, but children as well. I have had preschoolers that could not see across the room. My own grandson has to be reminded to wash his glasses. And I can identify with all of this now. It really is humbling 🤓💝
ckarlstrom
Yes, very good point! These things can happen to anyone of any age, including the very young. And it’s not too early to develop compassion, is it? Best started, in fact, in the very young!! Thanks so much for reading and commenting . . .
Beth Kjeldgaard
Another great reminder of what our parents taught my siblings and I. “Be kind and respect your elders.” Now that we are approaching . . . who am I kidding? Now that we ARE the elderly, it sinks in. I remember my mama Delores saying to me in a conversation about her needing more help when she was in her 80s, “You won’t like it Betsy. I was surprised!” Being a caregiver for my mama actually gave me insight into what to expect, so not as surprised as mama thought I would be. I must quit saying to John, “How can you see out of those glasses?! They are filthy!” 😉
Carolyn Karlstrom
Great comments and insight! Yep, we’ve attained elderly status and we’re among the fortunate. Many don’t get this far. Thanks so much for reading and sharing!!
Nancy Hoppe
Thank you Carolyn, yes I have had humbling experiences. Unless we have been care givers, we don’t really know what it is like until we get here.
ckarlstrom
There’s no question about it. I remember as a kid being told I should try to wear gloves and ear muffs and try to get through a day. Turning pages, cooking, manipulating knives and spoons and forks, buttoning up a shirt or jacket, and trying to hear clearly. That sort of thing. That, I was told, was what it was like to get old. Scared me to death! I’m not QUITE there yet but seem to be on my way. Thanks for your comments!
Louise
To quote a meme now circulating: Hindsight is 2020. So true this year more than ever! We all have cringe-worthy memories of times when we failed to be kind. Would that we could be infected by a pandemic of kindness!
Carolyn Karlstrom
Well-said, Louise! Thanks!!
Susie
Oh my it reminds me of dad. Every time I pick him up I clean his glasses. What a good reminder of how we treat others difficult circumstances.
Carolyn Karlstrom
Thanks, Susie! I’m so glad you’re there for Dad. He’d be lost without you. Thank you for cleaning his glasses, among many other things! Love you . . .
Cindy
Eyesight is a complicated thing. Most of us are born with the ability to see to at least some extent. We take it for granted that things will ALWAYS continue as they began. Then we begin to experience this thing that is our life and as the years pass, if we are lucky, we do continue to “see”: same old, same old, right???? But if we never learn that treating each other with kindness is the clearest manor of “seeing” each other and ourselves then we aren’t “seeing” at all. We are blind and don’t know it. We’re told to treat others as we want other to treat us. How are we, am I, “seeing” today?, is the question that came to my mind as I read your story, Carolyn, and the responses of your readers.
I have joined the official ranks of the elderly this year. Like you my eyesight is far from what it used to be, but that is only the physical eyesight. The eyesight that comes from experiences in this life, with other people but most especially with the Lord has sharpened my spiritual eyesight exponentially!! It is written in the Bible that God will give us competence in all things for all good works. He will, absolute certainty, open the eyes of each one of us who seek Him with our whole heart and mind. Then if He deems it best for us to no longer “see” clearly, or at all, in the physical manner it’s all good. If we learn the lessen to “see” each other AND ourselves with kindness He will be glorified in and through our lives.
Thanx for this great story.
Carolyn Karlstrom
Thanks so much, Cindy, for your thoughtful response. It’s quite an amazing experience to get older, for sure. It’s just astounding to me how quickly the time has flown by, sobering to think we were young and vital just yesterday. But it beats the alternative and certainly has its own perks . . .